Happy 5 Year Anniversary!

When we got married, 5 years ago today...I thought life would get easier. Call me crazy. I thought life would calm down a little from the several moves that had happened just prior (10 moves in 10 years before we got married). I thought since I was clearly following God's path in marrying Jason, things would all of a sudden just be peaceful.

Maybe you're snickering, knowing we moved overseas 3 weeks after our wedding.

The roller coaster that ensued after we married felt too much to bear at times. 40% funded and unable to raise any more money from overseas like we'd thought, having to move "down" twice from flat to flat- smaller and smaller, into a semi-sketchy neighborhood in the end. A job change. A team split. Discoveries made that moved us home from Scotland. Hearts broken. Truth clung to. Miles of walking in a dark and constantly raining city. 115 degree heat while pregnant and not able to afford AC. 2 babies in 2 different countries. Job gained. Job lost. Cancer found. 5 moves in 5 years. Moving to a brand new city, again. Church hunting....again. Really hard (but thankfully healthy) pregnancies.



Oh of course there's been positive too. Lots. But it's in the difficulties that we've seen each other's true character, and had the chance to build character and our marriage.



Our life together has been anything but calm and peaceful, most of the time. Far from my dream of moving into one little house near my family, our kids growing up with their cousins. Family lunches on Sundays, church involvement where you show up and know the depths of what people are going through when you look around. Fun vacations with friends who know you well and sitting outside on the back porch together in the evenings.


It has been a scurry of constant life-changing activity. It has been clinging on tight to each other because everything around us is shifting and moving and we just don't know if we can handle one more change.



I would venture out to say that God waited to show us some of our ugliest sin until we found each other.



I would go so far as saying that we needed to see the ugliest in each other to gain intimacy and see our desperate need for God.



And it has been perfect.



I wouldn't change one hard thing about it.



It has been packing and saying heart wrenching goodbyes to friends and family over and over, sharing the most precious moments together- discovering new countries together, meeting the kids God gave us, sitting on a beach in Portugal and watching a sun-set together- wondering if we were pregnant (we were), walking around Prague looking at each other going- "this is our JOB." A casual day at the castle listening to bagpipes in the distance. Cobblestone roads while sipping coffee. Seeing how God provides every single need and desire- and more, a phone call in the middle of the night between India and Scotland- itching to see each other. Night after night eating dinner on the floor in our lounge at the coffee table- candles lit. Game after game of cards. Making hard decisions together and then feeling good about them. It has been a firm foundation built.



I wouldn't choose anyone over Jason to walk in the rain or sunshine with.

Happy 5 year Anniversary.

I'm glad I had your babies

I think we've seen some of the best in each other as parents. I find it romantic that God used US, our relationship, to form these two little beings Christian and Kate that we both adore.



I know He did so for His greater purpose, but I've gotta say- I think one of the reasons was to bind us even closer together. Because...

When I see a glimmer in your eye as you get down into your football stance and say, "Tackle Daddy!" I fall in love all over again.


When I ask, "Do you want me to put him to bed or do you want to?" and you answer..."Oh no, I want to!" You win me over again.


When I hear your baby talk to Kate I can't help but smile from the other room, making sure you don't know I'm listening for fear that you'd stop


When you had tears in your eyes as you were allowed to see me post-surgery with Christian you were so worried, I learned how deeply you really did care.

When I hear you say, "You need to obey Mommy," I feel supported as a Mommy and woman


When I hear you say at the dinner table..."Repeat after me...'Dear Jesus,' 'Thank you for this food,'" I beam as I watch you teach Christian how to pray, and the role model you are.


When you're exhausted from a long defeating day of looking for work and the first thing Christian says is , "Wrestle?!!!" and you muster up energy you don't have every single time, I understand the lengths of your sacrifice.


When I see Christian imitating even how you stand, how you do push-ups, really EVERYthing you do...I'm glad I had your babies.

You are the rock of our family. You really are. Happy 3rd Father's day!

Thank goodness for bad lighting...

Because I was tagged about 10 minutes before bed with this LOVELY game of:

"you have to immediately take a picture of yourself once you have been tagged and post it. No primping, no fixing anything, no looks into the mirror to check this or that. Just exactly what you really look like."


Nice.

So here's my best attempt- other attempts to follow



Oops, wrong side of the room!


Here we go, nice and clear


A profile with my little nursing station in the background.

It's not as easy as I thought to take a picture of myself with my phone's camera!

Just really thankful...

Last weekend we had some good friends over and had them take this quick family picture for us

...and later, when it was loaded on the computer I looked at it and almost didn't recognize what I saw. It all looked foreign and just like a typical family of four. Immediately I thought, I am "that" woman.

"That" woman- the one with a very handsome husband and two little miracles.


It wasn't even 8 years ago that I committed to being content in my singleness. I'd been in an unhealthy relationship and even though it had been my dream to be a wife and Mom, I finally surrendered completely. Surrendered after trying to make it happen myself and that not working (which is putting it mildly). It was a sad time, and I grieved the loss of what wasn't even mine yet- a husband, kids...my dream of being a stay at home Mom.

To say God honored my surrender would be an understatement. All I need to do is look at this family picture to see that I'm "that" woman- the one I'd envied as a young single woman. "She must really feel like she belongs." "Kids, wow- that must be amazing." "A HUSBAND...does she know how LUCKY she is?!"


Now, my pregnancies have been no walk in the park; and we have definitely had our fair share of "lessons learned" in our marriage. We don't own a home and don't see that happening anytime in the near future; we don't have a job; we don't have "roots" as a couple. We don't even know what city we'll be living in within the next 6 months.

But.

Looking at these pictures is a convincing reminder that He DOES know what He's doing. He is present in this "Fresno" season- He is present always, and He BLESSES those who seek Him.

Haircut

It was high time for a haircut! I'm loving his new short hair- it was my first time using the clippers on Christian and he did awesome. Good job buddy for sitting so still!

Before:

After

Congratulations to Matt and Sam!

I've gotta say...you both chose VERY wisely. Paula and Chelsey, there is no doubt in my mind that God has equipped you both with exactly what it will take to love your husbands sacrificially. Congratulations!

Paula on her wedding day


Chelsey on her wedding day


Paula and Matt


Chelsey and Sam

Two Groups

I had the great privilege of going to France for a women's retreat in February of '06.  We stayed in a beautiful huge chalet with real shutters and visited Switzerland as well.  It was well planned by our missions agency.  Upon arrival, there were roses from our husbands with notes attached from them, gifts for us all each morning, amazing, intimate worship, food cooked by a missionary who's lived in France for 10+ years, fresh french pastries every morning, and most importantly- support and conversation with other American missionaries living overseas as well.  This was a life-giving time.  

Not to mention, the way the outings were planned!   There were options for several and I only joined a few (choosing to cozy up in the chalet with hot chocolate in the snowy hills of France, not a bad option).  I went to Geneva and to Chamonix- a little village turned ski-resort.  The options, for 40 women site-seeing together were actually decided before we left our chalet. A) fast-paced or B) slow-paced.  The fast pace group would see a lot of the sites- check out some historical things, explore a lot of the city and move pretty quickly.  The slow-paced group would see a few of the main sites and spend the day meandering and possibly doing some people-watching while drinking coffee.  Hmmmm.  Not a hard decision for me.  SLOW PACED it was. 

 It was one of those defining moments from the time I heard our leader asking us to make a choice. Oh, sometimes I wish I was adventurous- that I wanted to lace up my shoes and be itching to hike around and see everything there is to see.  But I'm just not.  I like a slow pace.  I like deep conversation and people-watching.  Shopping for local jewelry and creating memories in front of one incredible building.  For this trip, I'm glad I didn't try to be someone I wasn't, because boy did I soak up our few days taking it in slowly- drinking plenty of coffee, taking pictures, processing what God was speaking to me at the retreat.  We ate fondue at a real Swiss restaurant in a ski village in the alps, sipped cappucinos while wondering the streets of Geneva, and laughed- a lot

Most used baby toy

There are many differences in Christian's and Kate's infancies. Our career, home, country, hospital, weather...that it's fun to see some of the similar things! Like this toy from Auntie Claire (who lives in Scotland). Between it being used as an infant toy, Christian has used the white tube things that hold it together as swords and carried the red top part around the house watching the toys swing around. It is definitely a popular toy around here!


Christian - 3 Months



Kate- 3 Months

There we were in Mexico, living and serving at an orphanage. A girl who'd lived there quite some time and who was probably about 17 years old, was to be our translator that morning. Mike shared a message and she relayed what he was saying in Spanish. He went on to share from Ephesians about how we've been adopted as His own children. The translator started to translate- but stopped. He shared it another way thinking she couldn't understand what he'd said, "we're no longer orphans...He adopted us. We are His." She couldn't translate- at least not at that moment. She stood in front of us all and wept, and wept, and wept. She herself was an orphan.



I sing to Christian over,and over, and over. "Jesus loves me this I know..." Again and again and again. "Again?" He insists. Of course "again," - of course I'm going to keep singing about Jesus' love if you ask me to! Just recently I've been sharing with Christian on our walks about all the things God made. "God made that tree, baby boy- the same God that made your heartbeat made that TREE!" "And the sky, and the birds- God MADE them!" Christian responds with "Woooooow!"



I find myself getting choked up sharing with Christian about these simple truths. The simple truths I share in enthusiasm so he'll get it- because it IS exciting!

Something about being the messenger. The one delivering the message. The one delivering it in a way the one listening will understand. In simplicity. In Spanish. So they'll GET it.

And then WE get it. We GET it. Finally. I get it, as I've just sung "Jesus loves me" for the 14th time in a row with Christian's head on my shoulder as we sit on his bedroom floor. I get it.

**Edited**My baby must-haves

Some of you said this would be a fun Meme- I AGREE! So here we go. I'm tagging Davi, Barbie, Emily, Mindy, Stacie, Talia, and Kourtni. And anyone else who wants to join in. Can't wait to see your must-haves!

I think it's funny the level of reliance on certain THINGS at this point in motherhood. Sure- I could do without them if I must, but they sure do make life easier. Every Mom has different "must haves," and here is my list. Most of these I just HAD to have with Christian too. It's the way I DO "newborn"- and I'm thankful for each of these very precious items!

Stretchy blanket for swaddling
Not just any blanket. It's got to be big and it's got to be stretchy. None of those flannel receiving blankets for me (I use those as sheets in the bassinet when it's cold outside). I pretty much get attached to ONE blanket (for Christian it was an airplane blanket from Gymboree), and when it's being washed you better bet that it'll be a quick wash and dry, because no substitute will do for the next sleep. With Kate it's a stretchy Dwell Studio blanket from Auntie Amanda. We love this blanket and use it pretty much all day every day (since the day she was born- here she is a day old using it).


Bugaboo Bassinet.
Oh, I love it. Some people look at me strange when I tell them our daughter still sleeps in the stroller. I guess I could explain myself- our stroller (gift from Dad and Georgia- thank you!) has a bassinet that baby can sleep in until around 6 months. It's so awesome, because especially before any sleep schedule is developed you can just wheel baby from room to room so they can keep sleeping and you can keep staring. = ) The canopy thing makes it nice and dark and it even has a little mini mattress with it's own little sheets. I am so thankful for this thing.


MAM Pacifiers

Yes, we are a paci family. And for no particular reason other than I thought they were the cutest, have used MAM pacifiers for Christian and Kate. Our rule is "only in bed" and it has worked out really well. Kate is slowly but surely preferring her fingers- but boy in those beginning days, it was a MUST.


Johnson's lavender bedtime lotion. 

I'm not convinced it helps baby sleep better- I just LOVE the way it smells.


Boppy

And last but certainly not least. The boppy. I have a love/hate relationship with this thing. The one I had with Christian my poor Mom stuffed in her suitcase and brought over to Scotland only for me to develop terrible memories with it as I failed at breastfeeding him. I ended up selling it on Ebay swearing I'd never breast feed, EVER again. Then along came Kate- a completely different delivery experience and a peaceful beginning to breast feeding for the most part. I sent Jason to Target to get a boppy on day 4 when we got home from the hospital. HAD to have one. I recently got a second one to keep in the living room at Salvation Army for $1. I admit it- I have GOT to have this item.